


to bleed alone no more

by Wren_ofthewildwood



Series: The Old Guard Vampire AU [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Blood Drinking, Crying, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, LOTS of comforting, Protective Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Protectiveness, Sexy blood drinking, Soft Considerate Boys, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:26:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25865098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wren_ofthewildwood/pseuds/Wren_ofthewildwood
Summary: "He heard the sound of another person in the alleyway and he drew back from his prey to snarl viciously at them, eyes glowing gold and bloody fangs bared. He hunched forward protectively over his meal, running on feral instinct. And was shocked when the handsome dark skinned stranger bared his own fangs in return."--Each chapter is a vignette in the same universe as Nicolo and Yusuf's feelings for each other develop over time. See chapter notes for specific chapter warnings.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: The Old Guard Vampire AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913227
Comments: 90
Kudos: 295





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @Katrin for writing the wonderful main chunk of Italian dialogue in this, it inspired me to bang this out in one day! <3 (Any mistakes are definitely mine.)
> 
> TRANSLATIONS - Hover over Italian to see translation in English (only works on computers) or scroll down to bottom notes for English translations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings - Crying, Panic attacks, begging forgiveness, murder, blood drinking, loss of control, feral behavior, mentions of digging out your own grave

Nicolo sank his fangs into the man’s neck, his bloodlust and hunger overriding the fear and regret that had previously stayed his hand. And he groaned low in his throat as sweet ambrosia filled his mouth. He dug his fangs in harder, drinking fast and deep as he filled his painfully empty belly. He knew what he was doing was wrong, that it was murder, that he was a monster. But all of that faded with his desperate feral feeding, washed away, as pain and despair was replaced by the rush of satiation.

He heard the sound of another person in the alleyway and he drew back from his prey to snarl viciously at them, eyes glowing gold and bloody fangs bared. He hunched forward protectively over his meal, running on feral instinct. And was shocked when the handsome dark skinned stranger bared his own fangs in return.

\--

Yusuf was ambling through the quiet streets with only the moon high in the sky as company when he heard it. The low rumbling growl and wet sounds of a vampire feeding. He could scent blood heavy on the air and he held back a snarl at the thought of a strange vampire feeding in his territory. 

He moved swiftly, following the scent to a dingy alley, where a pale figure knelt over a large man who’s heartbeat was fading as the strange vampire drained him of life. But the vampire must have heard him because his head flew up from the man’s neck to bare his fangs in a defensive snarl, protecting his kill. Yusuf didn’t try to resist his instincts, moving faster than the human eye could see, he ran towards the vampire and slammed him into the alley wall with a loud snarl of his own. His fangs were descended and could feel his eyes light up with anger.

“You dare come into my territory and kill here?” He growled, tightening his grip on the other’s neck threateningly. Letting feral vamps go only endangered his kind, those who gave into bloodlust and recklessly thrived off the kill while feeding could not be forgiven. 

But he hesitated to kill him, as he took in this stranger’s face. He was beautiful with a strong nose and jaw, even dripping with blood. And he had lovely deep crystalline eyes, revealed now that the feral glow of his bloodlust began to dim. He watched as the vampire’s eyes went wide, seeming utterly surprised by his appearance, the bloodlust fading away completely.

So he was shocked when the stranger went limp in his grip and began to cry. He was whispering frantically under his breath  “Mi dispiace. Mi dispiace molto.” He followed the vampire’s gaze and found his eyes locked onto the bloody body on the ground of the alleyway. Yusuf loosened his grip and the vampire slid down the wall, legs going out beneath him as he folded in on himself, head bowed over his knees.

Perhaps not so cut and dry after all, Yusuf thought to himself. Although it begged the question that if this young vampire was losing control and did not seek to kill, where was his sire who should be teaching him such things?

Yusuf let his fangs withdraw and his eyes dim as he knelt down before the vampire. He reached out slowly and gently tilted up the stranger’s chin, not letting himself be distracted by his beauty. Their eyes met and Yusuf felt a rush of electricity down his spine, but before he could open his mouth to ask who this stranger was or seek to comfort him, the other began to beg desperately.

“Mi dispiace, ii prego di credermi. Non volevo, io _non volevo_.” He sobbed, tears flowing down his cheeks to soak the collar of his shirt and drip down Yusuf’s fingers where they still gently cupped his chin.

“Vi prego, perdonatemi. Non avrei mai voluto -- non avrei mai creduto -- perdono, ti prego _perdono_.” 

Yusuf brushed away some of the tears from the man’s cheeks, his heart aching at his pleas.

“Nella mia debolezza io ho…,” the man choked on a sob, “...non volevo, mi dispiace, _ti prego credetemi_. Mea culpa, mea grandissima culpa.” His voice cracked as he choked on his words.

And then his gaze turned back to the body as he shuddered with emotion. “Non ci sono parole che possono esprimere quanto io rimpianga quello che vi ho fatto, non ci sono scuse, la ragione non importa ma ti prego, ti supplico, credetemi. _Io non volevo_.” He took in a ragged breath, “Ti supplico, _perdonatemi_.” Then his throat closed up with feeling as he sobbed so hard he could not breathe at all, his entire body shaking with it.

Yusuf gathered him into his arms on instinct and the man let himself be pulled, limp in his arms for a moment before grasping the back of his shirt with desperate clawing hands as he broke down against Yusuf’s chest. Yusuf hushed him softly, rubbing gently up and down the man’s spine.

“It will be alright now. I will help you, sweet boy,” He murmured against the young vampire’s hair. “Ti aiuterò.”

\------

When Nicolo awoke he was in a strange room, on a strange bed, and he leapt to the side of the bed ready to fight only to find himself alone. The previous night rushed back to him and his full stomach rolled with guilt as he remembered killing a man in an alley. But he also remembered meeting one of his own kind. A beautiful man who had held him while he fell apart. He couldn’t remember anything after that. 

He breathed in deeply, scenting the air and he took in the layered scent of the strange vampire that told him the man must have brought him to his home.

He twitched nervously as he heard a gentle clearing of someone’s throat from the otherside of the door. 

“I mean you no harm, my young friend. I meant what I said last night, that I wish to help you. You may come out and join me to talk whenever you feel you are ready.” And then gentle footsteps walked away from the door and into another room, echoing faintly.

Nicolo eyed the window, considering trying to run, but even if he wished to, he did not want to keep running and killing like this forever. If this vampire could help him then he couldn’t afford to turn away from it.

Decision made he left the bedroom and stepped out into a hallway, he followed the sounds of pages turning until he reached a small sitting room with two plush couches. The strange vampire was even more beautiful in the light than he remembered, brown skin and tight lovely black curls on his head and a short trimmed beard. He lounged on the couch with effortless grace, holding a book with one hand while the other turned the pages. 

As Nicolo entered the man’s gaze rose from the pages to meet his eyes, and Nicolo feared that the fresh blood from the night before would allow him to blush. For the man’s eyes were dark and edged with light golden brown, but more importantly there was such life in them, such compassion. Nicolo looked away after a moment unable to bear such kindness when he felt a monster.

“Good morning. My name is Yusuf,” He said sitting up and setting aside the book. “Would you care to join me?” He asked, gesturing loosely to the other side of the couch, but encompassing the couch across from him as well. Nicolo chose to sit across from him instead. 

“Yusuf,” Nicolo spoked softly, testing the name on his tongue and finding that it felt unexpectedly natural there. “My name is Nicolo.”

“It's good to meet you, Nicolo,” Yusuf said warmly, with a genuine smile.

Nicolo looked down to his knees with a frown. “Is it?” He asked without meaning to say so aloud.

Yusuf’s smile gentled, eyes soft with understanding. “Yes, it is. Have you been alone all this time?”

Nicolo swallowed heavily at the question. He felt like he had been alone for an eternity even though it had only been a few years since he had been turned into a vampire. But he had been alone since. And he had tried so hard not to kill, to starve himself to death if he could, but each time he lost control, dark instincts taking over until he came back to himself drinking from a stranger and unable to stop from taking their life into himself.

“Yes,” he whispered.

“And the one who made you?”

“He...he told me what he was, what he would make me, but I woke beneath the ground alone. I have not seen him,” He tried not to let thoughts of waking in his grave overwhelm his vision, pushing the distressing memories to the back of his mind. 

After he had killed for the first time he had searched for his maker, wanting to demand answers but he had never found him nor any others like him. Yusuf was the first.

“Then if you’d like you can stay with me, and I can teach you what I know about our kind. And how we live in this world,” Yusuf offered, with that gentle smile still curling the corners of his lips.

“Could you teach me how to stop myself from feeding?” He asked.

Yusuf frowned and shook his head. “No, if you do not feed, the bloodlust will drive you feral with hunger until you do. But I can teach you how to feed without killing, without hurting others.”

Nicolo felt a surge of hope rush through his chest. To be able to stop killing, to stop hurting innocent people. He bit his lip against the rush of emotion that brought up in him. Guilt, anguish, hope and relief. 

He nodded without speaking and met Yusuf’s eyes again for the first time since they’d begun speaking. And when met with such welcoming warmth Nicolo could feel his lips twitch up into a small smile of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English Translations -  
> I am sorry. I am so sorry.
> 
> I am sorry, I beg you to believe me. I didn't want to, I didn't want to. 
> 
> I beg you, forgive me. I never would have wanted -- I never would have believed -- forgiveness, I beg you for forgiveness. 
> 
> In my weakness I did (Note: I did to you as in starting to describe his actions but faltering [at naming them out loud, too horrified to])... I did not want to, I am sorry, I beg you to believe me. My fault, my fault (Note: stronger inflection for the second one, bigger condemnation. Mea culpa, mea grandissima culpa is from latin). 
> 
> There are no words that can describe how much I regret what I did to you, there are no excuses, the reason does not matter but I beg you, I beseech you, believe me. I did not want to. I beseech you, forgive me.
> 
> I will help you.


	2. Learning to Feed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yusuf helps Nicolo practice feeding after taking him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of arousal but nothing happens (this time). Implied Demisexual Nicolo.

“To start you will practice on me,” Yusuf said as he observed Nicolo sitting on the edge of the couch across from him. Brown hair still slightly tousled from sleep and dark circles under his eyes that Yusuf hoped would fade with time.

“We can drink from others like us?” Nicolo asked with wide eyed curiosity.

“We can. It can even sustain you for a time, but eventually you will have to drink from the living or you will still starve.” He gave little nod of acknowledgement at the slightly disappointed twist to Nicolo’s lips at the idea of drinking blood from humans.

“But I will teach you to take without harm. Drinking blood from another can be a pleasurable experience for both parties. And they will wake the following day no worse off than after a night of drinking,” He said, making an effort to keep his voice neutral despite an urge to flirt with the handsome vampire. Under other circumstances he would certainly try to lure Nicolo to his bed, but that was not what the lost man in front of him needed now.

“Alright,” Nicolo agreed softly. Yusuf patted the couch cushion beside him and Nicolo rose silently and sat next to him. 

Yusuf tilted his neck to the side in open invitation. “Let instinct guide you, Nicolo, but not control you. I will stop you before you take too much so you can feel how much is enough,” He reassured as Nicolo hesitated despite the fact Yusuf could feel the younger vampire’s gaze on his throat.

Nicolo leaned in hesitantly, leaning on his hand against the back edge of the couch to keep as much distance between their bodies as he could before pressing his lips to where Yusuf’s pulse would be if he was alive. Then he opened his mouth and bit down, his fangs descending and blood pouring into his mouth. All thought of keeping his distance fled his mind and he pressed his body against Yusuf’s side, hands reaching up to cup the back of his head and keep him close. Even after feeding so recently he still felt hungry for more, never fully sated for long after going without for so many years.

Yusuf bit down on his lower lip to hold back a moan as Nicolo pressed against him and pulled the blood from his body. He could feel it all the way down to his toes, more intense than being fed from had ever felt before. He tried to think of something repulsive to keep from showing his arousal physically but it was hard to draw his mind away from the line of slight warmth against his side, the feeling of calloused fingers cupping his head firmly. He could feel evidence of Nicolo’s arousal against his hip, but that was natural from a feeding and he paid it no mind.

Finally he felt from experience that enough blood had been taken and knew Nicolo would need to stop now on a human. He forced himself to reach up and cup Nicolo’s cheek gently guiding him back.

“Nicolo. You need to stop now. That is enough,” He murmured. He thought perhaps Nicolo would snarl or fight, instincts driving him to feed but he let Yusuf guide him backwards, licking over the wound as it healed before pulling away completely. His eyes still glowed dimly and his fangs were descended but he seemed calm.

He regretfully pulled his hand away from Nicolo’s jaw and gave him a pleased smile. “Very good. You kept excellent control, I didn't even have to force you to stop.”

Nicolo’s eyes turned back to sea glass blue, his fangs withdrawing, and his cheeks flushed lightly at the praise. “Ah, it was...different than when I have fed in the past,” He admitted.

“Part of that is because you’ve fed recently. Drinking small amounts more often will allow you much greater control over your instincts. And part of it is the blood of the living is harder to resist. But you still did very well.” He gave Nicolo’s knee a jaunty pat and shot him a smile, not wanting him to deny his successes.

Nicolo hummed noncommittally but gave Yusuf a small smile in return anyway. 

“Tomorrow we shall go out and find someone who will be interested in that pretty face of yours.”

Nicolo looked startled, “Why is that?”

“It’s easier to guide someone looking for a romantic tryst into an alleyway or back to their residence. And they’re likely to let you close to an artery where you can drink more easily.” He outlined bluntly.

Nicolo’s cheeks heated slightly at the thought of using seduction to find someone to feed from. 

“I-i don’t know that I am ready for that,” He stated anxiously.

Yusuf settled a firm hand on his knee and looked straight in Nicolo’s eyes. “I will not leave you alone. I will be there to stop you if you start to go too far. I promise that I will not let you hurt anyone,” he paused to let Nicolo take in the sincerity of his promise, “But you are well fed, so now is a good time to try.”

Nicolo worried his lower lip between his teeth and then decided he must admit it now or else it would be more than obvious tomorrow night. “I...do not know how to seduce someone…” He looked down at his hands shamefully, he had never been attracted to someone he had not already known very well. Seducing a stranger had never been something he wanted. And he didn’t imagine he would be very good at it. He had always been rather quiet and withdrawn, even at a young age, and that had not changed when he’d grown older.

Yusuf smiled softly but there was a twinkle in his eye like he was holding an amusing secret that he did not intend to share. “I do not think that will be a problem, Nicolo. But if you need, I will show you some ways I know tomorrow night. There is no need for shame,” He reassured.

“Grazie,” He said softly, glancing up at Yusuf from under his eyelashes. 

Yusuf’s grin grew wider, which bewildered Nicolo and at his curious glance Yusuf waved away his concern. “No, I do not think you will have any trouble at all, my friend. But sunrise is close, you should rest.”

“Alright. Good night, Yusuf.” He said, taking the remark for a dismissal and rising from the couch to return to his room.

“Good night, Nicolo.” 

He could feel Yusuf’s eyes on him but he did his best to ignore it, stomach tight with nerves at the thought of the following night. But despite his fear, when he crawled into the bed that still smelled vaguely of the older vampire he fell asleep almost immediately and slept through til sunset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grazie - Thank you


	3. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicolo has a nightmare and Yusuf comforts him in the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Dreaming of being trapped in a coffin and suffocating, panic attacks

Nicolo choked on a sob as he struggled to breathe through all consuming panic. Around him, with no space to move, was only wood and darkness. A coffin. He was trapped in his coffin.

He screamed and pounded his fists against the lid above him, praying desperately to be heard. To be saved. He did not want to die here. Did not want to suffocate in his own grave. And then a crack as wood split above him and dirt came pouring in. He tried to push it away but it was in his eyes, his mouth, his throat...He woke with a strangled scream, hands clawing desperately at the air above him.

He finally registered a voice, a hand pressed gently to his chest shaking him just slightly like it was urging him to wake. “Destati, Nicolo. You are safe. Wake up now. It is only a nightmare. You are safe.”

He gasped as if he had been drowning, desperate for air he didn’t need, wide-eyed and shaking with the nightmare still fresh in his mind. It had not happened exactly like that in real life but it had been just as horrifying.

“That’s it. Breathe for me.” Yusuf exaggeratedly took slow breaths for him to follow, and before Nicolo could think better of it he found himself pressed tightly against Yusuf’s chest, who only paused for a moment in surprise before wrapping the younger vampire in a gentle hold, careful to not restrict his movement. Nicolo pressed his face against his chest, trying to match his breathing as his terrified gasps leveled out into slower shallow breaths.

“Yusuf,” he whimpered.

“I’m here, Nicolo. You are not alone.”

Nicolo wrapped his own arms around the other vampire gripping the back of Yusuf’s sleep shirt in a grip tight enough the fabric nearly tore, but Yusuf made no move to stop him. He realized he was crying when the cloth under his face began to grow wet with his tears. He stiffened but Yusuf merely ran a hand down his spine and hushed him soothingly. “Ssshh. It’s alright. Sssshh, sssh. Take what you need, azizi. I’ve got you.” And Nicolo let go, sobbing and shaking as he finally let out the pain and fear of his memories made dream.

When he’d calmed some Yusuf gently tilted his face up to wipe the tears from his cheeks and clinging to his lower lashes. “You’re alright now. Here, come lay with me,” He suggested softly, shifting to lay down on the bed and beckoning for Nicolo to rejoin him. Nicolo wasted no time, pressing his face into the older vampire’s neck and curling against his chest. Yusuf smiled sadly and wrapped his arms back around him.

“I was in my grave,” Nicolo whispered, breaking the silence. “And I could not get out before...”

“I’m so sorry, Nicolo,” He spoke softly. Since creating a vampire took a lot of energy, blood, and power, vampires generally turned those they wished to keep and so new vampires would be cared for and ushered into their new world gently. But occasionally things like this did happen, he could only imagine the horror of it and wished he could do more to soothe the gentle vampire in his arms.

Yusuf gently petted down Nicolo’s back, just holding him gently to his chest, until finally the distressed vampire went still and quiet in sleep. Yusuf stayed and watched over him until after sunset, keeping any more nightmares away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Destati - Wake Up  
> Azizi - beloved/my dear/sweetheart


	4. A Hunter's Blade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A vampire hunter attacks Yusuf and Nicolo in an alley at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Murder, vampire hunter, brief blood and gore

Yusuf cried out in pain as the knife slashed deeply across his chest, cutting through his jacket and shirt. He dodged to the side as the hunter tried to follow up with a piercing blow, but he stumbled, healing slowed by the silver coating of the hunter’s blade. 

And Nicolo roared with anger, a red veil falling across his vision. He dove at the man taking the blade to his shoulder as he tackled him to the ground. His shoulder burned, smoking from the embedded silver but he fought through the pain. His hands clawed away the hunter’s arm that tried to force him back from his vulnerable throat. 

He snarled and pushed forward, driving the blade deeper into his own shoulder so that he could sink his fangs into the man’s throat and then he pulled back, ripping away the flesh and muscle leaving a gaping bloody hole behind. The man spasmed, eyes rolling back into his head until his heart stuttered to stop and he lay still.

He pulled the blade from his own shoulder with a pained hiss and then rushed to Yusuf’s side. Yusuf was leaning against the alley wall, one hand pressed to his cut. 

“Yusuf!” He said worriedly, ignoring the blood pouring from his own shoulder. “Are you alright?” His hands hovered over the wound, unsure where it was safe to touch. He looked up at Yusuf, his glowing gold eyes meeting Yusuf’s deep beautiful brown ones.

“Nicolo, I’m fine. But you are hurt. Calmati. Let me see to you,” He soothed, reaching up to cup Nicolo’s bloody jaw and brush a thumb across his cheek. He had not expected Nicolo to be so fiercely protective of him, to go near feral in his need to eliminate the threat. 

Nicolo’s eyes narrowed, expression going determined and obviously ready to argue, when instead it turned into a pained grimace. Yusuf’s sword wound was a quick slash, but Nicolo’s shoulder had been impaled on silver for several long moments and his wound would need to be cleaned before it would begin to truly heal. 

Yusuf released his own wound which had sluggishly begun to clot and reached out just as Nicolo stumbled, his legs weakening and threatening to give out. “I’ve got you, Nicolo. We’re safe now,” He reassured, sweeping the younger vampire into his arms. Then he leapt to the rooftops and dashed across them, trusting in the darkness to cover his passing as he raced back home. 

When he entered he immediately moved to the bathroom and began running water into the tub, ripping off Nicolo’s ruined shirt and easing him into the tub with his shoulder beneath the faucet. Nicolo gasped, snarling at the pain and fighting instinctually for a moment, clawing at the edge of the tub. But Yusuf held him down until the initial fight or flight instinct passed and Nicolo bit down on his lip groaning as the water flushed his wound.

“That’s it. Don’t fight me. Let the water clear your wound so you can heal,” He encouraged.

“Burns…” Nicolo groaned.

Yusuf frowned sympathetically, even as part of him was amused that Nicolo’s worry for him had made him oblivious to it burning the rest of the time. “It will ease in a moment,” He reassured, brushing blood spattered hair back from Nicolo’s eyes. Yusuf’s words held true and after several long minutes the burning eased and his wound showed the beginnings of healing. Nicolo letting out a gasp as the pain abruptly eased, limbs going loose.

“There. It should heal up fully soon.” Yusuf’s wound looked like a fresh scar and would fade completely by the time he had showered and changed.

“Grazie mille, Yusuf,” Nicolo murmured, eyes focused on Yusuf’s healing cut with naked relief. Yusuf fought back a fond exasperated sigh. Nicolo could really use a little more self-preservation he thought to himself.

“Shall I leave you to bathe or would you like some help getting the blood out of your hair?” He offered lightly as if part of him wasn’t desperate to care for Nicolo and watch him heal for his own piece of mind. 

Nicolo flushed a soft pink and mumbled that he would be fine on his own in Italian. Yusuf brushed a few dried flakes of blood off of his forehead and then stood. “Then I will leave you to it. Join me for some wine when you’re done?”

“Si. Yes, I will,” Nicolo stumbled through his answer nervously. 

Yusuf took one last look at the sight of Nicolo’s long pale back, marred only by his injured shoulder, before turning away and shutting the door behind him. He resisted the urge to linger and went to prep some wine for them both. For nights when he and Nicolo stayed inside and enjoyed quiet companionship over a bottle of wine had fast become his favorites.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Calmati - Calm down  
> Grazie Mille - Thank you very much  
> Si - Yes


	5. Pining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short piece of introspection as Yusuf contemplates his feelings for Nicolo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Indulgent pining drabble inspired by a comment from Mickey_D!

Yusuf pulled back from his prey, licking his lips clean, before laying the man gently onto the bed. He made his way out the strangers apartment, leaving the man who’d taken him home to rest and recover from being fed on. 

Yet despite feeling full and sated, he couldn’t shake the feeling of discontent that had fallen over him. Ordinarily he enjoyed the chase of seduction, and often followed through on his passion, sating himself in more ways than one. But more recently he had found this repeated dance with strange men and women alike had lost its luster. He fed more quickly, often before they even made it to the bedroom, and found himself eager to return home. 

He let his thoughts wander as he mulled over this change in himself. He found his thoughts drifting to Nicolo, as they often did these days. Nicolo had become a light in his life, quiet and kind, whip smart and with iron-willed determination, he had never met anyone like the man that had stumbled into his life. Perhaps he could admit to himself now what he had been trying to deny, that he knew exactly why strangers he met in bars no longer appealed. That he knew exactly what was at home that sent him rushing back to it.

He sighed looking up at the moon that was half in darkness as he walked.

He had always found the younger vampire attractive. And while at first it had been an inappropriate time for seduction when the young man needed a friend to help him navigate through this new world. Now that they were on equal footing, he feared ruining their relationship with sexual overtures. He couldn’t believe how quickly he’d become attached to having Nicolo in his life.

And now that he was losing his appetite for sex with others, he was beginning to think perhaps his attraction for Nicolo was something more. He wanted to spend every minute with him, even at night he longed to crawl into Nicolo’s bed and wrap himself around him. Since he had done so a few times to ease Nicolo’s nightmares he even knew exactly how it would feel. The weight of him in Yusuf’s arms, the warm earthen scent of him. Sometimes he could not fall asleep for wanting to feel it again. 

Perhaps it was time to test the waters. Be brave, he thought to himself, for love is stronger than all things.


	6. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally! It's confession time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end of chapter notes for tags for this specific chapter because I don't want to spoil anything. But nothing dark happens.
> 
> Also translations are in the end notes as well.

Nicolo had settled into his new life, befriending Yusuf’s companions Andromache and Booker and becoming even closer to Andromache’s beloved Quynh who seemed to understand him effortlessly even when he wasn’t sure how to express himself in words.

As he had grown more independent and learned how to live as a vampire safely under the tutelage of all his companions, he found that there was much more he could teach them than he would have thought about the modern era. The intricacies of daily life and understanding of the culture firsthand proving surprisingly helpful in helping them all keep a low profile.

Yusuf had offered to let him keep the bedroom he had woken in that first night after meeting him so long ago and he had been glad to stay ever since. But more recently he had noticed something new, or if Quynh's amused glances were to be understood, something he’d been previously oblivious to. 

Yusuf had always been kind to him, but while Nicolo found his feelings growing beyond just those of friends into something far more romantic, he’d assumed that they could never be returned. But now when he glanced at Yusuf to take in his smile or his laughter (making moon eyes at his love, Quynh teased him privately) sometimes their eyes met and caught and there was a heat in Yusuf’s gaze he had not known before. Something passionate and hungry.

It often made him flush as his eyes darted away but when he looked back Yusuf’s gaze was always elsewhere. It made him feel like he was going mad.

One night when they had no plans to go out and join their companions, he found Yusuf lounging on one overstuffed sofa with a glass of wine on the table, open bottle beside it, as he drew in a sketchbook . Nicolo hesitated, for he had been contemplating going hunting, but he was not so hungry yet to turn away from the possibility of a quiet night alone with Yusuf. 

He stepped into the room and cleared his throat, a polite way of letting the other know he was there despite both of them being able to track the other from several rooms away if they so wished. Yusuf paused in his sketching and smiled widely at Nicolo, who swore his heart gave a beat at the sweet welcome. 

“Do you mind if I join you, or would you prefer some time alone?” Nicolo asked softly.

“I would greatly appreciate such fine company. Please take a seat,” Yusuf offered, smile going impossibly brighter. Nicolo’s cheeks tried to flush, hopefully unsuccessfully since he had not eaten that recently, and he smiled helplessly back.

“Grazie, Yusuf.” He took a seat at the other end of the couch beside Yusuf and when his companion pulled a second glass from the shelf under the table he looked at him surprised.

Yusuf's smile went distinctly sly and playful. “Well, you can’t blame a man for hoping, hm? I am glad you chose to join me.”

Nicolo gave a huff of laughter, unbearably pleased that Yusuf had been thinking of him and hoping for his company.

As Yusuf poured him a glass, Nicolo found his eyes turning curiously to Yusuf’s sketchbook. Now closed and propped against the couch arm. “What were you drawing? Ah, if you don’t mind my asking,” He added backtracking a bit in an effort to not overstep. Yusuf finished pouring his glass but actually seemed to pause and think it over for a moment. 

“You can look through it if you’d like,” He offered, taking the sketchbook and holding it out. The moment felt weighted somehow, Yusuf’s gaze guarded where it was usually only open and welcoming around him. But Yusuf had always been honest with him so he reached out and took the notebook, flipping it open to the first page.

His eyes went slightly wide as he found a few images of himself, gazing off somewhere to the side. It looked exactly like him. “It’s incredible,” He murmured, impressed. He glanced at Yusuf to find him hard to read, though his expression was friendly and the older vampire gave him a nod in thanks before gesturing for him to continue. 

He turned the next few pages to find small scattered sketches of Andy and Booker and Qunyh, but when he flipped to the next it was all of him. And then the next page, and the next. Each page after seemed covered with sketches of him, sometimes just a hand or his lips or a portion of his face but they were all recognizable as his own. Finally he reached a page with only one large drawing on it. It was him smiling wide and bright, on the edge of laughter with eyes crinkling. He looked incredibly happy, in a way he could not have imagined several years ago.

He looked back up at Yusuf, face full of hope and wonder.

“Yusuf, this is…” He spoke hesitantly.

“You are beautiful, Nicolo. Sometimes I feel I could draw you for a lifetime and not capture the perfect nuances of your smile. The brightness of your laugh,” he leaned closer, “The way sometimes you look at me in such a way that I fear I must be dreaming and I pray I never wake.”

“You weren't dreaming,” Nicolo murmured. He licked over his dry lips and watched Yusuf’s gaze trace the path of his tongue with his eyes. It gave him the courage he needed to close the gap between them, pressing his lips to Yusuf’s in a feather light brush before pulling back just enough for them to share the same breath.

The tension in the air between them felt pulled taut on the edge of breaking, but Yusuf pulled back slightly further to look deep into Nicolo’s eyes. “Are you sure this is what you want, ya hayati?” He asked softly, searching his gaze for answers.

“I have never wanted anything as much as I want you. I love you, Yusuf,” Nicolo returned without hesitation. 

Yusuf’s lips pulled wide in a smile and his eyes sparkled, “I love you, Nicolo. Amore mio.” And then he pressed his lips to Nicolo’s and the tension between them snapped. Yusuf pushed his sketchbook off of Nicolo’s legs onto the floor and pulled him effortlessly by his thighs to straddle his lap. Nicolo’s hands tangled in Yusuf’s curls, tugging at the strands as he plundered Yusuf’s mouth with his tongue, the older vampire more than happy to let him. 

When Nicolo pulled away both their eyes were glowing and canine’s lengthened. “I want…” Nicolo trailed off eyes tracing Yusuf’s throat hungrily, but his shoulders were tense, mouth twisting to side with confusion.

“It is natural, caro. Feeding from each other can be wonderfully intimate between vampires. Do not fight it,” He urged. He licked along Nicolo’s throat and the younger vampire whined at the rush of sensation, his neck had certainly never been this sensitive when he was alive. “May I bite you, ya amar?” Yusuf breathed across his skin.

“Per favore, amore. Please…” Yusuf sunk his fangs into Nicolo’s throat and his head snapped back, mouth open with a silent shout of pleasure. His hips jerked forward and he clawed at Yusuf’s back drawing him closer. And then through another wave of pleasure his instincts drove him to lock his teeth onto his lover’s throat and he let out a muffled moan at the first swallow of blood. He felt like every part of his body was suddenly alight with sensation, like he could feel Yusuf’s caress through every inch of him. He wasn't sure how long they went on like drinking from each other in a infinite loop lost in the pleasure of it.

So when it came his orgasm caught him by surprise, his whole body shuddering through the release as it crashed over him, washing away his vision and then after a moment everything. When he opened his eyes his head was pressed to Yusuf’s shoulder and his lover was petting down his spine and licking his throat with light long strokes across where he’d bitten. He groaned softly and Yusuf chuckled, the vibration of it he could feel through his cheek.

“Are you alright, my beloved?” He whispered, pressing a final kiss to Nicolo’s throat before pulling away.

“Ngh,” He mumbled licking over his lips as he lifted his head. “That was….Is it always like that?”

Another fond huff of laughter, followed by a kiss to his cheek as he blinked blearily at his lover. “No, habibi. It has never been quite like that. But yes it is usually very pleasurable for vampires to drink from each other so freely.”

“It wasn’t like when I drank from you last time,” He said, pressing a kiss under Yusuf’s jaw before he pulled back enough to be able to look into his beautiful brown eyes.

“No, you were still learning how to feed and I was greatly holding back. And I admit you seem to be quite sensitive…” He trailed off with a purr, tracing his finger down Nicolo’s neck and making him shiver. Nicolo frowned at the gentle teasing. “So did you not…?” He asked eyes darting downwards questioningly. Yusuf smiled, having come himself at feeling Nicolo come apart so beautifully in his hands.

“Don’t worry, I found myself very satisfied. You taste exquisite, ya rohi.” He punctuated this by bringing Nicolo’s lips to his with a gentle hand in his hair and they licked the shared taste of blood from each other’s mouths. 

Nicolo pulled back and then was caught off guard by a jaw cracking yawn. He flushed and shot Yusuf a bashful smile. “You tired me out, tesoro.” He teased, and Yusuf’s answering grin was wide and bright.

“Shall we go to bed, Nicolo?” He offered.

“I’d like that. I miss you when you aren’t there,” Nicolo admitted. Yusuf’s hand moved to his back and guided him to stand. He kept it there as they moved to Nicolo's bedroom.

“Then I will sleep every night in your bed, if you’d like,” Yusuf said voice low and warm.

Nicolo smiled softly at him in answer and let Yusuf pull back the covers as they pulled off their dirtied clothes. They both paused in mutual appreciation, eyes tracing over naked bodies with appreciation but another soft yawn from Nicolo ended the moment. 

When they were both settled, cuddled together in the center of the large mattress Yusuf whispered into his hair. “I miss you in my arms when I am alone in my bed. I would gladly never sleep without you again,” The soft admittance making Nicolo’s chest feel warm and full.

“Stay,” He mumbled sleepily in answer.

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags: Coming untouched, Blood Drinking, Vampires drinking from each other as a sexual act, excessive use of petnames in Arabic and Italian, enthusiastic consent, Nicolo is momentarily confused at his instincts urging him to bite his lover as an erotic act
> 
> If you don't want sexy times just stop when they start kissing and start up again at "Nicolo smiled softly at him in answer"
> 
> \--  
> Grazie - Thank you  
> Ya Hayati - My Life  
> Amore Mio - My Love  
> Ya Amar - My Moon  
> Per favore, amore - Please, love  
> Habibi - My Love/My Darling  
> Ya Rohi - My soul/my soulmate

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive critique and suggestions are welcome. (Especially since this was unbetaed.) As are requests/ideas for more of this AU. 
> 
> (Others stories in this verse will now be posted as part of the series this is in, since this was where I originally planned to end this.)
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read! Comments encourage me to write and feed the creative beast, even just "!!!" or "<3"!  
> And I will always respond to show my appreciation!


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